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5 attitudes that weaken the bond with our children


Giving love, affection, security and support to children is essential for their emotional development. Establishing an affective bond from the early stages is essential for this.

There are small daily actions that are basic that promote attachment and bonding, but there are also others attitudes that can break it, spoil it or weaken it. Those are the ones we should always avoid.

1. Not listening to children: It is true that children can ask hundreds of questions a day and that submitting to that endless questionnaire is exhausting, but not giving an answer to our children prevents us from opening a communication channel. Talking with them is important, but also listening to them, knowing how their day went, if they had any problems, what was their best experience or simply what they played, is essential to take care of the bond.

2. Yell at them: constant shouting when educating children only causes low self-esteem in them, undermines their confidence, they tend to have more aggressive behaviors and generate more stress. All the experts and psychologists join in the same statement: to educate your children you do not have to yell at them.

3. Punish them: excessive authoritarianism, constant prohibitions and education associated with punishment do not teach the child anything. Psychologists prefer to use positive reinforcement and not punishment, since the child gets a lesson and we also reinforce his self-esteem. Instead of constantly punishing, we can encourage good behavior with favorable consequences for them, for example: "If you do all your defects, you can choose dessert today."

4. Don't spend time on them: day by day we get involved in endless tasks that seem to never end, however, taking a little time out of the day, however little it may be, to dedicate it exclusively to our children is essential. Otherwise, little by little they will distance themselves from us and the bond will weaken.

5. Show no affection: physical contact, hugs, kisses or simply telling them how much we love them are customs that stimulate the bond between parents and children. If we do not carry out these small and simple actions, our children will not only grow up without that basic need for affection of every human being, but also we will not be stimulating attachment with our children.

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