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"Mother Project" Małgorzata Łukowiak


It is difficult for me to define 'normality'. Is it normal for a woman who devotes every moment to her child, quits her job, postpones most of her pleasures to be "here and now" full-time? Or is it normal that after three months giving herself completely to a new person, she returns to work full-time and is not relieved by guilt after entering work? Is normal the one who prefers to get sick at home, taking care of the child, or the one who then arranges for an important meeting because she knows that she will spend time warmly at the desk and avoid running after the shouting child?

A perfect mother

It amazes me how many I have, on online forums, in random conversations, in the press he creates the perfect mothers who have no major dilemmas. When they return to work, they do not have a feeling of tear, they do not admit that they are worried that they would prefer to spend this time on the floor. When, in turn, "sitting at home", with a smile they bear the twentieth time of changing diapers and do not say aloud even in an honest conversation that they would give a lot for even one "normal day".

It is paradoxical that we still weigh our "value" by the perspective of our "achievements" in the field of motherhood. Although so much is said in the media about non-perfect mothers, motherhood without icing, difficult challenges, fatigue, a sense of powerlessness, the myth of motherhood is still very strong. He still covers with the simple conviction that man is only human and has the right to feel tired.

A Polish mother cannot complain, she has no right to override her own needs over the child's needs, she should endure everything bravely, like a superhero who never has bad days. Taka wins social acceptance. If it deviates a little from this pattern, its strong character is put to the test.

Pregnancy after pregnancy ...

"The Mother Project" is, like the author, emphasizing "failure." Released in December 2012. The fourth child of Małgorzata Łukowiak (or the fifth - taking into account the blog), a lawyer on a daily basis, after hours of the blog cold.blog.pl, which has been running for many years, which was elected Blog of the Year 2009 and was awarded as a literary blog.

The first part of the "Mother Project" focuses on the changes that occur in a woman before the birth of a child, describes the process of becoming a mother, and the next shows how difficult it is to find your identity as a woman with children. In this way, in a funny, sometimes, in my opinion, a little forced way, describes the struggle of two extreme needs, the complicated process of maturation and finding balance.

What more: me or a child?

This imbalance in the mother's life is noticeable already at the stage of pregnancy. The first in the book is described with due diligence: week after week, with a description not only of physical changes, but above all of the revolutions taking place in the head. In subsequent pregnancies, the Narrator and the author also take place imperceptibly, imperceptibly in the "Project Mother": of course for the reader. The process itself is reduced to a few sentences, just like pregnancy. It is important to leave room for the female "I" and not for the child who, although obviously not fully, as a mother, needs space and fresh air in order not to lose himself.

In terms of language, way of choosing words, creating comparisons and combinations, the book definitely stands out from other similar items describing the process of becoming a mother that have appeared on the publishing market recently. It is perfectly balanced, witty, distant, full of irony and positive energy, which allows you to read the entire novel, contrary to appearances, like a fairy tale with a moral that has a good ending. Admittedly, there are allegations that this is a secondary record of internet notes appearing on the blog, but I cannot state that because I only know the blog to a limited extent now.

Maybe you will express your opinion? Have you read this item? What do you think about her?

Thank you to the publisher Weltbild for providing a copy of the review book.