Qualitatively, attachment reactions can be different. A secure bond provides the child with the optimal basis for later life: healthy self-awareness, trust, willingness to learn, and consideration of other people. In contrast, the so-called "insecure" bond is one that does not meet the baby's needs for safety and being understood. As a result, it can later lead to confusion about one's own identity, difficulties in learning, and entering into relationships with other people.
Why is a secure bond so important?
The attachment process is interactive and dynamic. Parent and child jointly participate in the exchange of nonverbal emotional tips that make the child feel understood and safe.
Even in the first days of life, the child receives emotional tips - tone of voice, gestures, sounds - and responds with his own crying, babbling, facial expressions, and later with a smile, pointing, giggle. In turn, the parent looks, listens and at the same time responds to these tips, satisfying the needs of food, warmth and affection. A secure bond therefore arises from the success of this non-verbal communication between the caregiver and the baby.
Why is secure attachment important for the child?
A secure bond teaches children to trust their parents, communicate feelings, and finally trust others. When a parent and infant make contact, the child learns how to maintain an integrated sense of self and how to function in a loving, empathic relationship.
The areas of the infant's brain that are responsible for social and emotional development, communication and interpersonal relationships are developing perfectly under the influence of this secure bond. It becomes a kind of foundation for the ability to enter into relationships with others in a healthy way. Attributes such as empathy, understanding, love and sensitivity to others are treated as something obvious in adult relationships. However, they develop first in infancy.
Children who have developed a secure bond:
- They can maintain emotional balance
- They feel confident and good with each other
- They like to be with other people
- They develop close relationships that meet their needs
- They deal with disappointments and losses
- They share feelings and seek support
Why does a parent need a secure attachment?
Nature has programmed mothers and their babies to experience a kind of love through attachment. The joy experienced when making contact with a toddler goes far beyond simply alleviating fatigue caused by lack of sleep and stress resulting from learning to care for an infant. The process of developing bonds releases endorphins in the body of the mother, which motivate, add energy and make her feel happier. Creating a secure bond with your baby may require effort, but the reward is enormous, for both toddler and mother.
Tiny children communicate most effectively when they are in a state of calm wakefulness. The same is true for adults. That is why bonding should start with taking care of yourself.