Small child

I'm not Polish Mother!

I'm not Polish Mother!

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On the Internet, among young mothers, text that acts as a manifesto is becoming more and more popular.

I'AM A MOTHER. It makes me both an alarm clock, a cook, a cleaner, a waitress, a doctor, a nanny, a nurse, a watchman, a photographer, an adviser, a chauffeur, a student, a party organizer, a personal assistant, an accountant, a cash machine, a comforter. I never have holidays, days off or paid when I'm sick. I work day and night. I am on call around the clock for the rest of my life. I AM A PROUD MOM.

I don't know what the purpose of its author was. Was it intended? emphasizing the multitasking of a mother-woman, paying attention to the shadows and glories of motherhood, or maybe it all boils down to one thing, that only by giving birth to a child who is brought up alone, one is treated by the society as a full member? After all, it is not proper to complain about new obligations, which after delivery can overwhelm many of us. Every mother's responsibility is to patiently change dirty diapers, explain with a smile, why you shouldn't paint newly renovated walls with crayons, come up with clever ways, just to let the toddler eat a nutritious dinner and collect his leftovers from his own clothes and rug, take a vacation work to keep company with a sick child, taking nights to alternately give a bottle of water, juice or milk, which will help soothe a nightmare interrupted sleep.

When a new family member comes into the world, the reorganization of the world of his loved ones does not have to be like a revolution that requires sacrifice only from one person. Which of you, dear readers, without embarrassment, without fear of how other people will react to such a confession, will admit that she is not a typical Polish mother?

Zosia Samosia

You became a mother. Sometimes you find it difficult to accept the fact that this scream manifesting your needs crumbs treats you like a food factory. Without a murmur, you appear at every call with a ready-to-serve breast or bottle. While in the first case you are irreplaceable, in the second case you think that no one will feed your baby better than you.

Every day you wash away the remains of diaper surprises from your hands a dozen times. After all, your partner at the very thought of using wet wipes for a known purpose gets nauseous, loses the ground under his feet when he is asked to take out the bin filled with dirt. During the bath, its participation is limited to filling the tub with water and transporting it to the room, if hygienic procedures take place there.

You would like to go out alone with a friend and talk to someone who uses sentences that are complex and you do not have to turn to them with diminutives, but you do not use the help of your mother or mother-in-law, who overwhelm you with archaic good advice.
You get nervous when you can't drive your stroller to your favorite store, because you are blocked by steep stairs and, as a result, you give up shopping. When buying new underwear, you pay attention that the bra was comfortable and easy to take off while feeding your child. You don't pay attention to lace, satin bust lifts, and you avoid a wide bow.
You do not want to admit that it is difficult for you to overcome the mess at home. Instead of cutting yourself a really needed, regenerating nap, you prefer to squeeze out windows and iron even one-meter diapers with which you protect clothes against spilling milk. In the evening, it is not proper to deny your partner a bit of pleasure. He is the sole breadwinner or only he deserves the reward after a hard day at work. After all, you spent the whole day at home, away from the problems of the civilized world, only looking after the home and the child.

Reconciled with fate

Don't you get the impression that after delivery your circle of friends has suspectedly shrunk? The people you maintain contact with are usually same-sex representatives who have also become mothers recently or some time ago. You have long conversations with the advantage of reusable diapers over chemically bleached pampers. You discuss the profitability of combination vaccines and exchange telephones to pre-luxation clinics.

You become a colic expert. You could write a guide about the most effective ways to put your baby to sleep. You share your knowledge eagerly, sometimes even without it. After you heard being pregnant that if you feel unwell, you should not leave the house, you do not use priority cash registers in stores. You stop visiting stores in shopping malls because you have been noticed that the trolley is destroying the floor, or you hook it with hangers with expensive clothes. You stop feeding your baby in public in a bottle when you hear that only a devious mother is giving the baby a milk formula. You are looking for secluded places to pull out your breast and give it to a hungry branch after a polite lady noticed that what you are doing is unculturable and disgusting others. You stop using public transport when the bus driver slammed the door in your face when none of the passengers helped you bring the wheelchair into the vehicle. Courtesy, lack of courage or the right words hold you back from a sharp retort when someone accuses you of not being able to deal with your own child.

Money is not everything

Own money gives a sense of independence, more and more often it is a determinant of human value. If you have somewhere to return after maternity, you are afraid of termination, especially if the pregnancy was a surprise to the employer with whom you recently signed a contract. You realize that you can work part time, which will give you protection against dismissal for some time. However, a lower salary effectively discourages you from doing so. If you're still feeding, you're taking your breast pump with you. If the employer does not provide you with a secluded place, you express the milk in the toilet, stressing out the queue of colleagues urging you from behind the door. Most of the time, you think about your child, worrying about whether it has really been in good hands. You are anxious that you have to take a few days off because your son or daughter is sick again, and no one will look after them better than you do.

When you are just looking for a job, you search the internet thoroughly for suitable ads. Once you receive an invitation to an interview, you carefully prepare for it. At the beginning, you willingly admit to what caused the gap in your experience, you assure willingness to cooperate. Although you are irritated by the questions about who will look after the child during your absence, what you will do in a crisis situation and whether you plan to expand your family again in the near future, knowing that the employer is breaking the law, you meekly give comprehensive answers.

Where do these come from? the employer's approach to young mothers? I am sorry to say that we have contributed to this ourselves. Commonly used sick leaves at the very beginning of pregnancy they may and are an individual matter of each woman, but if there are no medical contraindications for this, they put us in a negative light. It is hardly surprising to find colleagues who are pregnant with their sick person and will meet with shopping in a large shopping mall. How can you seriously treat a woman who has no strength to show up at work in the morning and fulfill her official duties, when at the time her photos posted on popular social networks are proof that the growing tummy does not disturb during intense fun at a friend's wedding .