Small child

A two-year rebellion does not exist?


It is amazing that a child learns to say "no" first and then to say "yes". You say: it's because he hears and sees the consequences of "no" more often than "yes". It's just like adults who remember bad events longer and more accurately than nice ones and will perform the action faster for fear of losing something than before winning the prize.

The two-year rebellion will pass?

This is how the authors of many articles on the subject comfort their readers. Unfortunately, not telling the whole truth, they soap their parents' eyes. Sure, the two-year rebellion will pass, but another one will follow, followed by another one.

With a rebellion, a two-year-old is a bit like "learning to put children to sleep". We can use many methods, read a lot of books, introduce modern techniques, and just like a child won't fall asleep on his own, he won't fall asleep. Even a "perfect", just discovered way is enough for a few days, even though we believed that he would help us for a long time. Similarly, a two-year rebellion. Gy already find a way for our toddler, he will enter the next "difficult period".

The truth about a two-year-old's rebellion should be considered against the backdrop of "difficult periods of an infant". There are many theories explaining why a few months old has a "worse day". There are talk of developmental leaps, teething, separation fears, the period when the child begins to dream, when he changes his diet, learns to walk, fall on his tummy, crawl, begins to speak, etc., etc. However, every mother who survived a year with an infant and she actively participated in his life, she knows that difficult times are more than simple, and every change when the baby is smiling and "trouble-free" lasts so short that it is difficult to get used to it.

The rebellion lasts forever

Of course, so much is said about a two-year-old's rebellion, because it is the first such period in a dynamically developing child. However, it is followed immediately by:

  • rebellion of two and a half years - by some a two-year-old rebellion by some right revolt, at this time psychologists emphasize that the relationship with the child is not the simplest. Often, the child cannot decide between what he wants and what he does not want. When he has too much or too little choice, he rebels. Experts recommend that parents find time to rest at this stage. More time than before :)
  • trzyipółlatek - the child has a need to hear that they are loved and accepted. He often wants to hug and be close to his parents. He most often reacts with rebellion when adults want to talk to him in their company and do not pay attention to him. He expresses himself strongly, resisting when he has a different opinion (rebels?).
  • four-year - it is often said that at this stage children are experiencing their second rebellion. Four-year-olds undermine the authority of their parents and argue with adults.
  • six year - wants to compete with the parent, clashes with him, provokes. Children blame their parents for everything, unload their anger on them. They fight, they are overtaken by extreme emotions.

This, of course, is not the end of periods of rebellion, but even the beginning. Rebellion at every stage of a child's development is not a way to anger parents, but a natural path of development, a sign of puberty. And that's how you should talk about him.

What is rebellion?

A two-year-old rebellion is a blown up topic, ironed and described to the limit. We translate everything with it. Especially that the child is a child because he does not want to eat soup, on the second day he does not want to go for a walk, on the third one he gets off the swing, and on the fourth he tries to get out of bed when he is to sleep. Two-year-old rebellion is, according to many parents, when a child expresses his opinion (in the way he can at the moment): screams, stomps his feet or says no. A famous revolt is everyone signals of opposition.

Is it right though? Is this what the two-year-old rebellion should be called?

Behind this paradox lies the shifting of very wide periods in which rebellion can manifest itself. Well-known parenting websites write about rebellions at 18 months, 12 months or 22 months of age. So if the rebellion can begin after the first birthday and last up to two and a half years, when most experts really indicate that it appears, and another rebellion is already lurking outside the door, what is the truth about the rebellion, which should rather be called growing up or expressing your own opinion?

If the child's development proceeds as a sine wave, is it necessary to name it each period with a separate date? Did the two-year-old rebellion really have bad fame?

On the other hand, maybe the truth lies elsewhere, maybe the two-year rebellion was somehow created by parents? Are you surprised that their child has their own opinion, that he is a separate being? To justify your lack of consistency, forgetting about upbringing, because it's easier or did it work out?

Gentle consistency

Psychologists emphasize that the child is like a rapid current of the river. It flows blindly wherever possible. Until he encounters a dam, he does not stop by himself. When encountering an obstacle, he chooses a different path or pours out, resulting in a flood. The role of an adult is to create a riverbed responsible for setting its banks. It is the parent who should make the river flow in the right direction and within certain limits.

The child needs clear rules. Otherwise he lives in chaos. However, you must be moderate when setting your rules. When they are too harsh, fear and rebellion occur. When they are flexible and age-appropriate, the child understands and accepts them over time. Not only for fear of anger or punishment, but because he treats them as his own.

A two-year rebellion in my opinion is overrated phenomenon. Related to the first real collision with what no one really teaches us to the end, and with which we collide only in practice: the upbringing of the child. It is an extraordinary time in which children grow up and parents change, learning to set boundaries and react to child opposition, they learn how to be consistent, but how to do it gently, flexibly and wisely.

That is why I announce: a two-year-old rebellion is not really a period when a child turns into a devil, as he is trying to describe on many pages. This is also not the time when the toddler gets malicious. This is an important stage in which the child learns about the applicable rules and finds out what happens when he breaks them. Not because he wants to hurt someone, but because it is interesting for him from a cognitive point of view.

If you rebel against the rebellion of a two-year-old, I invite you to the discussion :) Also when you justify your child's behavior by the term discussed many times and translated in all possible ways ...