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"I chose life" by Brygida Grysiak


I was moved at times, irritated at times. Although the author lays many issues too arduously, which in every respect does not match the accepted convention of reportage, reaching the last four chapters, I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. At the stage of reading them, I already knew that I could recommend the book to you. Despite many "buts" ...

Do you read carefully? So get angry!

I have the impression that this book is not addressed to me. Not because I have a child and I never thought about abortion. Not because I consider the termination of pregnancy to be evil, but on the other hand I don't feel the right to take this decision away from others. Not because of my specific, unwavering worldview, which is similar to the one that tries to instill in the heart the author, showing some silhouettes of women who chose life. The reasons are quite different ...

First of all, I have the impression that the author, TVN24 journalist Brygida Grysiak underestimates the reader. He often repeats a statement, probably trying to convey their "truth". I was tired of saying "there is always a different way out", "life is life" and many other stories told by many of the characters in this collection. I am aware that in a sense it could have been a deliberate procedure that punishes to focus on the merits, and not only the complicated fate of young women, but in my opinion in a sense deprives the reader of the possibility of self-assessment, and this is what the report does, which does not require comment. In addition, the same form of expression, the same pattern of stories, which fortunately changes at the end of the collection, may not be liked.

And when it comes to commentary, it is simply "lined up" at the end of the book. On the one hand, wise, simple, beautiful, but probably unnecessary words here. I quote:

Each of these women took responsibility. For the child she carried in her. " Unplanned, sometimes unwanted, sometimes sick. She took responsibility. From love. But also out of a sense of ordinary human decency (...) I said A, I have to say B. Even if it will be very difficult. The women I've met are overintellectalized arguments about the right to decide about your own uterus. They survived this choice. And they chose well. They know that the right to make their own uterus does not weigh more than the right to live of the child she carries within her. Because this is a man. Has the right to live. Like all of us.

There is always a way out

Brygida Grysiak's book gives hope. Describing situations that are very extreme: poverty, alcohol, psychological and physical abuse, total lack of support, hurt feelings, departure of a partner, and even prostitution: it shows that the same rules exist in every world.

On the other hand, there is no justice. You can't compare the situation when two loving people who have a warm home, a job, a loving family unexpectedly face an unplanned pregnancy with the one in which the woman remains alone. He leaves the alcoholic father, is rejected by his partner, has nowhere to go, gives birth to a child and either finds help or gives a newborn baby for adoption.

Brygida Grysiak also listens to other stories: a woman learns about a terminal illness, a fetus develops in her womb that nobody gives a chance. Despite this, she decides to give birth to a child and thank you for each day that you spent together, for every smile, ray of sunshine and hug. It's a fight. Heroic. It is a moment that allows you to be born again. Almighty mothers, as the author calls them.

It is very sad that the stories described are true. In their face, you can really open your eyes wide and be ashamed of your thoughts or words. On the other hand, these stories are filled with hope with bright colors. Awareness that you can always handle any situation, that there is always a way out that allows your child to live. In such moments, career, dreams and plans become irrelevant, which in the face of a defenseless newborn often have to go to the background. You can come back to them. Once taken, the decision to remove the child and the implemented idea cannot be changed. And this is what this book is about, among others.

Thank you to the Znak Publishing House for sending a review copy of the book.