Guide in brief
"Happy parents-happy children" is one of those guides that discusses, would like to write, many issues in one. The author's thoughts begin with the chapters "How not to duplicate your parents' mistakes", "How to learn to accept feelings?", Then the recipe for happiness is described in the fragments "How to take care of yourself?" "How to help a child develop his natural potential?" "How to demand and not hurt?" And "How to build family happiness?" And "In closing."
The guide is quick to read. It has 140 pages, which clearly denies the possibility of an extensive, detailed description of the issue. Rather merits are drawn from every issue, served in an optimistic, comforting form.
Each chapter begins quickly, ends so quickly (if we stop for longer with exercises that focus on realizing the common features that distinguish our currently built family with the family home in which we were a child, and on relaxation techniques, reading will take longer. ). Hence, it is a position for people who want to receive clear, simple and interesting solutions in a simple form. It is also a handbook for parents who expect a signpost containing all the most important tips - explaining a better impact on raising children rewards than punishments, the need to respect children, give them the opportunity to show (in an acceptable way) feelings, giving valuable instructions on how to approach children, e.t.c.
Who is it for whom it is not?
However, due to the fact that Krystyna Łukawska touches on so many topics, one can have the impression that none of them is fully exhausted. It only discusses them in a basic way: what can be an advantage or disadvantage - depends on what textbook we are looking for. For overworked people who do not have time to read for a long time - they have a chance to like it, for parents who need more detailed studies - this item may not be enough.
Why the beginning and the end?
At the very beginning, the author tackles the difficult topic of how our parents' behavior affects us. Krystyna Łukawska does not hide that we often act as parents automatically. We do not think about our own reactions. We subconsciously treat children as we were treated by our parents. The first two chapters deal with this burden of the past. Reject it and move on. Say goodbye to ghosts or even the bane of the past and live so as to avoid mistakes that left us too much.
In the end, the author writes about her family, about the negative feelings that dominated her. As a child, Krystyna Łukawska had to reckon with constant quarrels, screams, and a heavy atmosphere at home. As a result, as an adult, she promised herself not to make the same mistakes and create a happy home, full acceptance and respect for every person living in it.
Unfortunately. Despite very strong efforts, there were still bitter misunderstandings. The author admits that she assumed that since she was working so hard on herself, her husband must be at fault.
However, this was not the cause. The whole message and wisdom of this handbook is summarized in the final words:
"The basic source of suffering in our contacts with people is a sense of separation. Until I can feel the particles of my child within myself, I will not be able to look at them with the eyes of compassion and wisdom. Love and good intentions are not enough.
If we look at a child with a compassionate mind, we can see the world from his perspective, we can think about how he feels with a parent like me. And what can I do to make it feel better? What can I say that he felt loved and accepted? How should I say it? If, from this perspective, we see our expectations of children, then we will be able to choose from these expectations those that really serve the best interests of the child. "