Time for mom

What not to say to a working mother?


Every woman trying to combine professional and private life has a difficult task to do. He must find harmony between the needs of self-fulfillment and the desires of children, deal with the unpleasant thoughts that arise when he is working and is not at home, next to the baby. He must face his own and loved ones' frustrations, and often listen to many unpleasant comments.

Which of them should be considered the most perfidious? Which ones hurt the most?

Here is my review.

You leave your child

Lets be honest. You can't be in two places at once. A mother who decides to return to work (or financially decides for her) does everything to guarantee the best care for her child while away from home. When he returns home, he usually tries twice to spend time effectively with the child. She knows that she has been away for a long time and there is no time to waste.

If you want to stay with your child, there is a way

Such statements are very harmful. They make the task difficult, they depress and do nothing good. Because let's think for a moment, do we have an insight into the young mother's bank account, do we really know her life situation, do we know what her partner expects from her, what can she finally do?

Your husband doesn't earn enough ...? Sad…

The most tactful people are able to discuss the earnings of the "head of the family" in her company. In addition, they take on one of those compassionate poses and sad faces ... Well, how is your husband unable to support you? What is this guy

How can you stand it ...

Emphasizing how difficult and dramatic it is to part with your child every day and make comments like you can is a form of psychological abuse. It is hard to call it anything else.

Comments of this type carry a simple message: Your life is not perfect, and everyday life is so unpleasant, nothing but hide in a dark corner and lament over injustice. One person speaks, theoretically showing understanding, the other feels sorry. No sense. Well, unless the first one just had the goal to make the second one feel worse.

Are you sorry for leaving a child?

This is a comment from the category: let's rub the wound, sprinkle it with salt so that you don't accidentally let it heal.

I wonder what kind of answer the questioner is expecting when this important question is asked: are you not sorry that you leave your child alone at home ?.

In addition: one day each mother will have to "leave" her child: when the toddler goes to kindergarten, he will go to his grandmother for a longer vacation.

Are later breakups simpler? Will my mother be sorry then? It will probably be and what results from it? That a child is not supposed to go on vacation, not go to grandma, do not grow up too fast, do not change too dynamically?

How can you trust a stranger?

There are also other versions of sentences, starting with words (how can you trust ...): and my friend's nanny stole her gold, and the friend's babysitter screamed at the child, and this one turned out to be so irresponsible, etc. Support in the form of sensitivity to issues, on which has no influence is excellent, invaluable help. At least, it seems to a person who makes similar comments. Because the one who hears them wants to believe that it will be good, that she did everything to choose a good nanny.

A career more important than a child?

Because you working mom chose a career, and for me the most important is a child.

There is always time to show that you are better than others. It's good to feel great at the expense of someone. So completely without reflection that one is unfair. And why bother with such "little things"?

It is widely known that mom will not always understand another mother, and no one is as severe to one woman as the other woman. That everyone would live better, like on high heels, waiting for a blow from the left and from the right.