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"The order of birth and character. What influences the child's personality? "


I don't know if I'm a typical middle child from Linda Blair's description. I know for sure that the book is interesting in many ways. She opened my eyes to the need for me to search for custom solutions, plan and reconcile feuding parties in such a way that the most vulnerable person can get out of the conflict with a defensive hand. She also showed me the relationship between ambition, "looseness in life" and the order of birth. I also appreciate it because it is not trivial, it does not just stop at defining the character in relation to the order of birth. He also touches on other important components: breakthrough moments and parenting style. Linda Blair is a clinical psychologist who deals with psychotherapy on a daily basis. Privately, mother of three children, brought up as the first child of six siblings.

Lida Blair writes a book based on her clinical observations and in confrontation with popular psychological theses. It also draws attention to changes in society. This can be especially seen in the part about the only children. The author explains why today the name of an only child is no longer a stigma and why it is easier to raise one child for a person open to social contacts. What is equally surprising, writes that the position of the only child and the last child is the best from the point of view of the opportunities and limitations of the developing child.

Linda Blair emphasizes the advantages and limitations. It is impossible to list them all here. This is not the purpose of the review. However, it is worth writing about a few of them that the author of the book develops:

  • the eldest child - painfully experiencing taking his name as an only child and is most sensitive to the authority, desiring to please his parents with all his might.
  • middle child - in confrontation with the ambitious, usually first-born, he looks for a way to attract attention, often in a non-standard, creative way.
  • the youngest child - according to the author, his position is as good as his only child. The youngest child can count on the greatest support and the highest level of freedom, which has a strong impact on adult life choices and the way life partners are selected.

What are you

Linda Blair's considerations do not give the impression that they are trying to fully exhaust the subject of the impact of the order of birth on the child's character. The author emphasizes that many factors influence our character, which she illustratively describes on the basis of case studies. In addition, it also draws attention to the features with which each of us is born (temperament, introvert / extrovert, impulsiveness / reflectiveness) and learned features (confidence, ambition, honesty, communication skills). The author also translates these features that specialists still have doubts about, to what extent they depend on genes and to what extent they invest in their development: intelligence, creativity, optimism / pessimism.

The author also focuses on gender differences and age differences between children. He notes that they may affect that a child with siblings may display only childlike characteristics.

What did I miss in this publication? Certainly it is not a book that answers all questions (of which the author is of course aware, she writes about it in the Afterword). This is not a particularly thorough analysis, although it cannot be denied considerable substantive value. This book is far from the analyzes available in every second newspaper, however, accessibility and ease of understanding cannot bring it closer to a scientific study presented in a form difficult for the average reader. I probably missed the most unequivocally determine the position of the second born child in a family of four. The author focuses more on the family in which there is one or three children, in a smaller one - she writes about a family in which two children are brought up, and such a model is very common. I also missed the topic of gender differences and how to raise a child in relation to these differences. It is true that the author writes that parents raise boys and girls differently, however, she could be tempted to deeper analysis of this aspect.

Is it worth reading? I think so. Especially if you like to analyze your childhood, parenting style and check how their decisions have influenced you as adults. From the publication you can find out which arrangement in a relationship will be most favorable for you and what advantages the birth of a child in a certain order has. However, if you are looking for a detailed compendium - this book will not clarify all your doubts ... On the contrary, it will put more questions in your head that you will have to look for answers yourself ... elsewhere.

Thank you to the Helion Publishing House for sharing a copy of the review book.