So what, since suddenly it turns out that the child more enthusiastically greets grandmother than mother, unloads his emotions on his parents, is restless, aggressive, does not sleep at night. Mother's frustration appears, constant fatigue, a feeling of tear, certainty that something is missing forever ... Work becomes an enemy instead of an ally, and the myth of a professionally fulfilled mother bursts like a soap bubble.
Liberation, which is a crutch
In the past everything seemed simpler. The woman lived in multi-generational homes or had nannies to help, who lived with her and supported her in the most difficult moments of motherhood. She could count on the help of her loved ones. Grandma's institution had a different meaning. Older ladies were there to help, support, relieve. Today, grandmothers often remain professionally active, live far away, do not want to get involved (for various reasons) in helping to bring up. They have the right to do so.
Often, the partner does not provide such support as needed. Not because he doesn't want to, but because often this is not possible. He works from dawn to dusk to meet the growing financial expectations of an enlarged family.
Woman she is left alone. When care for the toddler rests on her shoulders, cooking and cleaning with great effort and often dedication, she is able to cope. However, when the list of duties comes with work, and the children are tiny and need attention almost 24 hours a day, a dilemma arises how to reconcile all conflicting needs: how to be close to the child, observe every important step to independence, while not giving up on yourself? Where in this all find time for my husband, not to mention friends and passions? It's very difficult and you have to admit honestly - only a few succeed.
The other women have to accept that returning to work, especially before the child is three years old, has many often negative consequences. The most common are: fatigue, frustration, sadness caused by the fact that you are still missing something, constant struggle with your own weaknesses. Add to this the problems that may arise in the child: trouble sleeping, anger attacks, whining and "sticking" to my mother and not stepping behind her (mother after returning from work has an extremely difficult task. It is difficult to take care of yourself or household chores. The child rightly demands attention.)
The work of women who have become mothers is a topic that reflects hiccups today. The trend of emphasizing the need for women's realization and fulfilling one's own professional ambitions often ends in disappointment. Many women, despite the initial joy of returning to work, suddenly face many problems. And instead of a sense of accomplishment, there is permanent fatigue, a feeling that something is missing, that you still have to choose between carefree play with your child and implementation of the next project.
Employer for mothers
A great help in returning to work is attitude of the employer. It is up to the boss to decide to what extent this breakthrough will occur - for both mom and baby.
Fortunately, the need for employer support for mothers, who are most often diligent, timely and verbal employees, is increasingly recognized.
Every year it is organized "Mom at work" competition by the Saint Nicholas Foundation and the Rzeczpospolita daily and the MillwardBrown SMG / KRC research institute. This year the fifth edition of the competition is being held. Earlier, among others, Danone, Ikea Group, Nike Poland and Żywiec Zdrój were awarded.
The purpose of the above campaign is to draw attention to the problems of Polish women in combining work with raising children and to improve the standards prevailing at the place of employment.
The perfect solution?
For many women, it is ideal work from home and / or run your own business. In this way, independence is gained. You can work at times when the toddler is sleeping or later, when the child is older, while playing politely.
Theoretically ideal, but not without flaws. Working from home requires a woman's high divisibility of attention, much self-denial and mobilization skills. You must learn to work when you can, not when you want to. It should be reconciled that the child dictates the conditions and when the child is sick, teething, or undergoes another difficult period (which is especially a lot in the first months of life), work necessarily goes a long way. It can happen that during the whole day you will not find a single moment. When you run out of deadlines and you have to meet a specific contract, it can lead to a lot of stress and nerves. Theoretically, it would be easier to leave the house in such a situation, even for a few hours, and give the child over to someone else ...
In addition, work at home usually excludes what gives us professional development and what mothers value, who for many months give all their time to the baby - meetings with other adults. These must be limited to conversations via Internet messengers and sending electronic letters. Prosaic thing - working at home does not even force a woman to look pretty, and sometimes what is missing after pregnancy - a moment to choose a wardrobe and present it to others. Working in your own home corners, you can wear an old tracksuit or comfortable jeans - which is not an advantage for all ladies, but often a disadvantage.
Good to remember
- After returning to work a lot can happen. It may be that everything will go according to the previously planned scenario, but you also have to be aware of the situation that we did not expect - e.g. the toddler will refuse to go to the nursery for several weeks or will get sick again and again. It's worth having a backup plan for such moments.
- The reconciliation of mom and employee is difficult, but not impossible. A lot helps flexibility. Sometimes it is worth talking to the employer about the possibility of reducing working time at the company's headquarters and taking some of your work responsibilities home.
- It is worth learning take help. If you can count on grandparents' support, friends, there is nothing to prove to everyone that we can handle everything perfectly alone.
- It eliminate certain obligations: buy bedding that does not require ironing, and after washing hang the clothes (previously flicking them) so that after removing them, you can simply put them in the cabinet, prepare dinner for spare, portion and freeze.
- If a woman falls under the obligation to cook, it's worth it choose proven recipes. It's good to have a fridge filled with frozen food at home, and rice, pasta, cans with tuna, beans and other products in the cabinets, so that you can quickly cook dinner.
- You can save some time by doing bigger purchases at the market or deciding to buy (also food) over the internet. More and more stores are being created in which it is enough to choose the products needed and they will be delivered to the door of our homes.
- Mother on maternity and parental leave protects the law. You can't just be dismissed (only in the event of group lay-offs or company bankruptcy). These preferences do not apply to women employed under a specific work contract, mandate contract, representation and trial period (not exceeding 1 month).
Resourceful mother earns extra money on maternity / parenting
Time flies, you want to be at home as long as possible with a child, but ... the household budget decreases. A dilemma and an unanswered question arise: "Should I return to work?". It all depends on each mother separately.
If you decided that you stay at home and think about the flow of cash, that is, you are looking for ways to earn extra money available for parents of children, I have six ideas for earning for you, i.e. the program Mother earns six:
- Listing clothes, toys and all other junk which at our home is a problem at home but is in good condition and capable of being used. (junk is any thing that we don't use, which we haven't even looked at in a minimum of a year).
- Today, when the virtual world is very developed, a mother who has at least a bit of a knack for using computers, writing blogs etc. can make suggestions to companies expressing willingness to run (administer) their company blog.
- On the Internet you can find the so-called: PHOTO BANKS. If we have passion for photographing the surrounding reality, you can sell your own photos on this type of website.
- There is also the option of taking part in competitions, regardless of whether the prize is useful to us. And then, when we don't need the prize, simply putting it up for sale.
- Have you noticed that more and more parents (mainly mothers) run their blogs? In addition to the pleasure of sharing valuable information with others, you can earn some extra money on ads. There are two ways: the first is simply to use one of the systems, and the second is to address a specific potential advertiser. Of course, you can earn more with number two, but you need to work harder to find an advertiser.
- In addition, thanks to running a blog, you can earn money by writing so-called entries / sponsored articles. It's always a penny ahead.
So dear we have - we work at home!AniaAnia, fulfilled mother of three wonderful children. He works and tries to reconcile, and separates home and family from work. He wants to be a good mother and wife, without forgetting his ambitions and dreams. He likes to travel and discover new places around the world. She enjoys writing ... in her free time she reads books and watches TV. She is an optimist, emitting good and love. He agrees with the idea: Good returns with doubled strength and evil returns with tripled.