Parents advise

Mom, dad, let me be independent ...


Can love hurt? Can you love too much? Can we accept that our children are growing up? Sometimes, when evening falls, and the movie is more boring than the law provides, I find myself running away with thoughts somewhere far, analyzing my past life. Sometimes I come to the conclusion that I am not as great and perfect as I thought so far ...

In my boundless love for children, I would save them from all the evil that lurks in everyday life. If only I could, I would probably put a pillow under their bottom before they fall, I would put the plaster on before the cut, I would go to another playground, if I knew that the boy in the sandbox would cover them with sand, or I would use a comb that does not pull hair when combing. Now I know that although they will always be my most wonderful little things to me and by the end of my days I will remember our first moments spent together, I must let them be independent, let them learn to live ...

We often take care of our children in the simplest things. We feed a preschooler, tie laces, clean rooms, wash, dress, walk animals ... There are so many such activities that it is difficult to count them all or replace them. We usually do it in a hurry, at our own convenience, without realizing that in this way we limit the child. Beloved, if we were still worn, we would not learn to walk! It is the same with young people who are just entering life and are learning in small steps what has always been known to us. We don't remember that it used to be difficult for us and someone just as we have now enabled us to improve these skills.

From year to year I notice that parents are more and more "puffing and blowing" on their children, but is it really going in the right direction? New generations grow up to people often with low self-esteem, indecisive, more and more people live in the belief that everything is due to them. I have the impression that we are somewhat guilty of it ourselves, depriving them of the opportunity to become independent and improve their basic activities from an early age. I know from my own experience that raising a child is often accompanied by uncertainty, anxiety, doubts, and the decisions made do not always lead to the intended goal. It's so easy to cross the barely noticeable border that divides ordinary parental care and protection from overprotection.

What does he teach better than his own mistakes? Certainly not good advice, no prohibition and the tale of naughty Jasie, not told every evening. Although it is not easy, we need to prepare the child for adult life through exercises, practice, trips, success and failure. We should treat it as one of the parental priorities and allow for more independence, and perhaps it will result in our child growing into self-conscious, confident, resourceful, courageously undertaking everyday challenges, socially and emotionally mature man.

Let's be parents who are able to step back in time, allowing the development of independence of our treasury. Let our fear of his future not hide what is most important to us. After all, a bed does not have to be made as perfectly as we can. We praise even the smallest success, even if you try to do something yourself, and we'll see how much fun this will give the child and will motivate him to the next attempts.

Let's remember that practice makes perfect, and without it, even washing your hair can be an insurmountable barrier. Let's not make the child dependent on our help, because someday it will have to grow up and then it may be too late to learn how to tie shoelaces ...
Let children, even the youngest, take a breath in their lungs and face adversities, but remember to stay at such a distance that in case of danger we can give a helping hand. I am asking you, my dear parents, to treat this last sentence a bit metaphorically, not only with regard to cutting a carrot with a knife ...